[ Featuring Chris Cooper ]
I'm Tex Richman, Mr Texas Tea
People call me rich cause I got mo' money
I got more cheddar than some super sized nachos
Got cash flow like Robert has De Niro's
I use more greens than Vincent Van Gogh
I make the baker bake my bread out of dough
No no don't eat it though it'll make you ill
There ain't no flour in a hundred dollar bill
He's Tex Richman
Everybody listen
Just how great it is to be him
(It's great to be me)
He's the greatest
You're the lamest
Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see
Yeah, it's funny in a rich man's world
When I need a piece of string, I use a string of pearls
If something's for sale, consider it sold
I've got so much gold, I gold plate my gold
I even got a guy to gold plate my cat
I don't regret much, but I do regret that
If I could start all over, I'd do it all the same
Except I wouldn't gold-plate little Twinkles again
He's Tex Richman
Everybody listen
Just how great it is to be him
(It's great to be me)
He's the greatest
You're the lamest
Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see
(Oh, it's great to be me)
I recall a heartbreaking story
About my own tenth birthday party
Should've been a glorious day for me
I'd have been happy as can be
But the Muppets were there
To put on a show
They started to dance
They were telling their jokes
I didn't laugh
I didn't know how
Then my friends
They all turned around
And they laughed at me
They laughed at me
I hate you, Muppets so
He's Tex Richman
Everybody listen
Just how great it is to be him
He's the greatest
He's the greatest
Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see
Little Muppets, time to give up your dream
