NF - HAPPY Lyrics

I could change, I could change but I probably wonʼt
I should change, I should change but I probably wonʼt
All my days feel the same when Iʼm on my own
I could change, I should change but I probably wonʼt

Thought I would make this a love song but I am all out of it
Feel like every heart I have ever won was a counterfeit
Thought my mirror image was my biggest critic until
I lost the girl that had me doubting it
Now I am stuck with only myself to comfort me
Feel like I only fall in love for better company
My self esteem just up and left
Just when I really need it
I expected nothing less I would not want to stick around with me neither
I ainʼt turn out how I thought I would, shit
Yeah, I ainʼt turn out how I thought I would
I have been living my life through the eyes of every girl I have cared for
I would get to know me if I thought I could
Yeah, I ainʼt turn out how I thought I would
I lose my breath when I record a hook
Because every time I get regrets I chase the pain with cigarettes
Should sort them through but for my health I can not afford to look

Wasted my youth
Looking for somebody who brings out the best in me
I never had the recipe to make myself happy on my own
Make myself happy on my own

It is daybreak and I am still awake
Spent the night evaluating If I feel validated from my art
Because my statements barely make it past my window pain
My head is heavy on my pillowcase in point
Is I am in limbo in between the dreams of yesterday and this duvet because
I can not face the cold outside my bed today
But I got rent to pay, and time is money
But depression is taking my time from me
I have gone and wasted 30 years thinking love will save me
When I let my ambitions turn to shit from being lazy
But I know if I cross my heart to focus on the music that I smb making
Soon enough a pretty face will come and make my heart betray me
Maybe I need to find a girl whoʼs found herself
Shit, I need to find myself before I find a girl
Because my whole life I have based my personality on faces looking back at me When they pack up to leave I think I might as well

Wasted my youth
Looking for somebody who brings out the best in me
I never had the recipe to make myself happy on my own
Make myself happy on my own

I could change, I could change but I probably wonʼt
I should change, I should change but I probably wonʼt
All my days feel the same when I am on my own
I could change, I should change but I probably wonʼt