NOFX - There’s No ‘Too Soon’ If Time Is Relative Lyrics

I don't feel like movin'
Don't feel like talkin'
I'm feelin' a little Stephen Hawking today
I barely feel like rollin'
There's no way I'm rockin'
I'm feelin' a little Stephen Hawking
Hey hey hey

When I saw him on TV
I thought he looked crazy
Then my friend told me that
He's just really lazy
So lazy he could only write
A Brief History of Time
He maybe smart but to me he's
Just a creepy narcoleptic mime
I wanna be like Stephen
So I'm gonna walk uneven
And havin' trouble breathin' hey, hey hey

I'm gonna live by gravitational law
I'm gonna try to drink a
Cheeseburger through a straw
And make my hand look more
Like a lobster claw hey, hey hey

But bein' Stephen must be kind of a drag
It looks like even his teeth
Are startin' to sag
I thought he had a tail he was tryin' to wag
But then I learned the tail was a tube
'Cause he's so lazy that he
Poops in a colostomy bag

Oh Stephen, oh Stephen
You give me somethin' to believe in
Don't wanna hear 'em, don't wanna see 'em
I think he might have melted in a wax museum

Oh Stephen, oh Stephen
Are you a robot posin' as a human bein'?
Oh Stephen, oh Stephen
You give us all a super creepy feelin'