Notaslave - Penny Lyrics

She said I don't love you
Then tried to take it back
She chose her deadly words
Always knew as a fact
Killed our relationship
Was already damaged
She put the nail in the coffin
Threw me away as garbage
I'm the spitting image of her enemy
She had PTSD while she beated me
Hell was a paradise compared to reality
She had bipolar her mood changed instantly
She had satanic possession
She was an angry savage
Enraged slamming cabinets
Cursing and wreaking havoc
Her narcotic addiction became priority
Her desperation for money
She got rid of me
I have a sickness with women
Of never catching feelings
I see them as chameleons
Lying and deceitful villains
I only want to be intimate
That's what I need
They do nothing for me
But cause misery

Am I terrible person
My mother did this
I'm not trusting women
I can't shake this
Can't even be around them
For more than 5 minutes
My mother dead and gone
She did so much damage

She killed my self esteem
To cope with poverty
She had to blame someone
For having nothing to eat
Her confidence damaged
From failing as a mother
Becoming arctic cold
It made it hard to love her
She taught me in my life
I would have some enemies
She'd be my best friend
Becoming my enemy
She was the worst one
Wanting full sovereignty
She was the judgement of God
Granting eternity
She was a lethal combatant
Of deadly addictive habits
Creating alot of damage
No control of interactions
I'm so broken up
No luck in finding love
I'm in so much pain
I'm just giving up
I'm sick and tired living
In this hate I'm building
Decades of harmful feelings
Making me unappealing
All the pain I'm feeling
Depression got me spinning
Thoughts of self killing
From her it ain't no healing

I was finally relieved at her funeral
Thank God the drama gone
I know it sounds cold
Thank God I'm finally free
Of her manipulations
No more tolerating
Her petty conversations
I was just a possession
To take out her aggression
Her tongue a nuclear weapon
Breaking me down in seconds
She fell in love degrading me
Constantly hating me
Compared to my father
Almost constantly
No matter the good I've done
Regretted me as a son
Called me forgotten one
Cause she had another one
Regret the time we had
I felt it was always forced
We never liked each other
I hated her of course
When i be in my feelings
Abuse was her healing
She use to hit the ceiling
Drugs left an empty feeling
No family there for me
But God is here for me
It scarred internally
Her never loving me