THRU MY EYES. Video (MV)

It's just different

I tried my best to believe myself
When I said I don't need no help
Although I deep down felt

That this liquor gon' deplete my health
In elementary, these demons, they would screech out
Tellin' me I'll never achieve any dream I've held
I don't mean to, I just can't help but to beat myself

I drink to alleviate the grief I delve
Into these bottles, for these bottles
Got at least nine shelves
Then to cap it off, on top of that

I cut the tip off of each plastic straw
Then I slip into the bathroom stall
Smoke a tin foil, be careful not to black the bottom
Sit back and nod off 'fore my next class gets started

I never meant to be an addict
That just acts retarded
It's so funny how you thought that we were acting, dawg
That's the saddest part, I miss the past the hardest

F*ck it, hit the bong, get the gat
Now I'm back to go kill Makarov
I lost my mom too early on to understand the damage
It cost a lot, it burned me long before

It manifested
I heard my conscience and it asked me, did I learn a lesson
I never meant to feel like this, I wish to kill its presence
I guess I dropped the needle

Depression got me feeble
These thoughts intrusive evil, thank God that booze are legal
The stress in my cerebral, could cave in a cathedral
More pounds than Mona Lisa

With the ropes of which that we hung
Shots fired at me, receiving backlash
Thoughts as wide as the sea, and even that's vast
I guess that's why Oddidee, turn to a crack addict

Cause I'm as conscious as Eve
So I'm a bad apple
You can lie to me, but you can't lie to yourself
And try to be what you're not, now that I'm beside myself

It would seem I declined my health
The irony of it all
What you mean you can't receive any calls
Beep

Pick up the f*cking phone yo
Beep
Yo
Beep

Pick up the- "please leave a message after the tone
You hang with him while you drive, and as you're smoking a bong
You wonder why I'm involved, with another chick you're with Tom
Not to mention it was Tristan, Travis, Tre, and Jarrad

Come on, you must think that I'm retarded or some
I lost my mom too early on to understand the damage
It cost a lot, it burned me long before it manifested
I heard my conscience, and it asked me, did I learn a lesson

I never meant to feel like this, I wish to kill its presence
I guess I dropped the needle, depression got me feeble
These thoughts intrusive evil, thank god that booze are legal
The stress of my cerebral, could cave in a cathedral

More pounds than Mona Lisa
With the ropes of which that we hung
I tried my best to believe I'm blessed
And to exceed the boundaries of my flesh

As seasonal depression kicks me in the chest
I don't see any feasible reason for me to not relapse again
I pound tees, I'm obsessed with drowning
I'm a mess, lousy and upset

My third eye blinked
Plus the only person that I hurt, I see
Every morning before work, while I brush my teeth
Wanna know what the f*ck I think

I kick the bucket, I'm so done being me
I'm so grumpy and mean
But to the public, I'm just funny and sweet
I'm so done being someone they teased

And wishing I was deceased
Now I just get bunches of sleep
Sick of f*cking ramen, I want something to eat
Accomplishments are nothing next to my low self-esteem

The things that I've seen in this life, they cut me so deep
Just another minute please
It's just when I'm with you, seems like I'm living in a dream
Feeling feelings visibly

I noticed that you noticed there's a synergy
When we come together and we combine both our energies
It's like a symphony
You always see me vividly, amidst defeat

You're the only one who would sit with me
On a park bench where you held me and my misery
That shit had traumatized me, but you didn't leave
These demons that I've held

Telling me, overthink everything that I've felt
People in school, they're so evil like hell
Not even my teachers could see why I failed