ang'ziede Video (MV)

When I'm feeling a certain way
And my heart doesn't know what to say
I'm confident, that my iPod might
I don't know about you
But I could listen to it all night
Whether it's my favorite artist
Or a sermon in a podcast
I know that these words have the power to last
Trying to stay still but my mind is always running
Humanities in a whirlwind of insanity
Realize, our heroes meet their demise
When they perform an act right before our eyes
I'm prone to those things too
I'm prone to those sins too
The angst that works against make me feels like I lost my head like a decap
Feeling like I'm trapped up to my kneecap
Yet I was given this time to sit quietly
Yet everything within me is moving violently
When all I gotta do, is to speak it all to you
My head spins, faster than my rims
I write because anxiety is something that I have to tame
And if you feel like I'm talking about you maybe you're the one to blame
My anxiety eats violently, it does it super quietly inside of me
I often fear what tomorrow may bring
So as I stand with the church, I almost don't want to sing
I'm dealing with this on the inside, inside
From my own self I can't hide, can't hide
I'm dealing with this on the inside, inside
But from my own self I can't hide, can't hide
I'm trap inside of myself. I need a little help
I'm trap inside of myself. I need a little help
I'm trap inside of myself. I need a little help
With their hands up
They're all singing with passion
A unique crowd in peculiar fashion
Reaching past the ceiling for a tangible miracle
A twenty minute prayer in a manner that's lyrical
All the people getting really hysterical
Their arms are flailing, their voices are wailing
There's a sheet some girl is constantly waving
To the sound of the beat, off to heaven she be sailing
While I'm just standing here patiently waiting
For something real, that intimate feel, that experience
Yet all I'm feeling is furious
What makes people want to believe?
Because all I'm feeling is that I want to just leave
Are white folks all that He shall receive?
I stand out like a sore thumb and I feel dumb
Sitting in the midst of white people underneath this white steeple
All of this theology is pretty believable
Dealing with how His ultimate sacrifice applies to every single life
And how it shall always suffice
Eyes closed and hearts open, their bodies are swaying
Listening intently to the words he's saying
As the chant ends they leave trying to live a life where they are dying
I'm dealing with this on the inside, inside
From my own self I can't hide, can't hide
I'm dealing with this on the inside, inside
But from my own self I can't hide, can't hide
I'm trap inside of myself. I need a little help
I'm trap inside of myself. I need a little help
I'm trap inside of myself. I need a little help
My ears are still ringing from the songs they were singing
Surrounded by strangers, while my heart staggers
My head rushes ahead
I find that I stall sitting and hiding inside of a stall
They're clean, nice, completely established
But in me is dirt and hurt, all I see is damaged
When really I am younger, while all my groans
Keep echoing like they thunder
Now I'm just waiting, debating whether I should leave
Say I'm feeling under the weather, or stay and brave the day
Believe despite all of the bereave I fight
Battle these feelings to be anxious, with the action of walking in patience
I never really understood why, people never seem to reply
Am I not of the cool? Am I being led on?
They see me as a jester, in their courts I am their fool
Am I not even here?
They were my friends but our relationship they don't revere
An eternity later, jumbled letters spell out we won't be together
So I just look up, I got stood up, and then I finally stood up and left
And so I'm just on my phone
Remembering I'm all alone
Driving out into the sunset, tear down my face
Nobody cares, that I'm upset