Cob County friends, your dark days are at an end!
I know that you've been prayin' for a ear that you can bend
Well it took a little science, a little math, a little myth
But I formed a little formula
Now feast your eyes on this!
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah
A newly-grown, perfect ear of corn!
It's really corn!
Yep!
It's been resurrected and reborn
Hallelujah!
In a field full of failure, it's a yellow unicorn
Mazie brought a savior for our corn!
What happened?
Gordy fixed the corn!
What?!
Gordy fixed the corn!
No!
I've analyzed, hypothesized
And agonized and realized
The reason why your corn is dyin!
It's because of those rocks!
Rocks? What about the corn?!
Got a corn problem? I'm your man
Need a green thumb? I'm a whole green hand
What's your plan?
The corn's in trouble, so let's troubleshoot
Like any other problem, the problem's at the root
And the roots ain't rootin' cause the soil ain't soakin'
And the soil ain't soakin' cause the rocks are suckin'
All the water from the soil, all the water from the stalks
Wanna fix your corn? Gotta start with the rocks!
What's he sayin'?
The rocks gotta go!
Move those rocks and your corn will grow
Oh, move those rocks and the corn will grow
Woah!
Well holy shit!
Holy shit!
That's a lot!
Who'da thought?
All we gotta do is
Move those rocks!
And it was like
And it was like
Cornography!
Corn-lottery!
Mazie walked into a shucking victory!
Beau said
You gotta be shucking kiddin' me!
Lulu, Peanut, Mazie too
Did that thing they always do
What?
Sing!
Everything you thought you knew about me
Just because you caught a bus to Tampa
Just like that, I turned it on its ear
He will never fit into our world
And that corn wouldn't stand a chance without me
Don't do it girl
All you do is doubt me
Ever since you
Since I
Came back here!
And Gordy said
The corn will grow
And Mazie said
I told you so!
And the whole town turned and looked at Beau
You believe all this?!
Well yes we do!
You really do?!
And I do too!
Yes!
Beau was jealous, Beau was mad
Stubborn pride was all he had
Lulu, Peanut
The whole town too
Did that thing they always do!
Sing!
The place went nuts!
Oh I'm a woman now! (Corn!)
Shucking nuts!
A woman of the world! (We've got corn!)
They lost their minds!
He ain't even Cob County boy! (Glory!)
I'm not just some country girl (He saved our)
I've fixed the corn!
I've seen the skyline and an ocean full of pearl (It was all confused!)
I've fixed the corn!
Did you hear that, corn?
Say what you will
I'm a woman of the world
He fixed the corn!
Sure did!
Then Gordy got down on a knee in the dirt
Found a little rock just to show 'em how it worked
Beau told Mazie
You are outta your mind
And she was on her own this time
Well, I think
When Mazie told Beau
You can jump off a dock
Just about the time
I loosened up the rock!
And this is where
Mazie
Kinda lost the plot
But it ain't so crazy to
Think of what she thought
Why yes, Gordy Jackson, I will marry you!
What?!
What?!
What?!
What?!
What what what what what?!
Holy shit!
What about that shit?