Outclose - Grasp Lyrics

I've been
Waiting on this
I've been
Banking on this

I've been reaching out and reaching back
For something to grasp
I've been searching this house for any sign
That you'd be here, and I fear
It's been left behind
I've been too late, too blind

I've been marked on the wall, how old, how tall
Since I was small

I've been raised here, praised here
I've been afraid
I've been growing away, not knowing what to say
Waiting for a day
I'd be grown
I'd be home

I've been a scared, scared child
I've been a despaired smile
I've been a pit
I've been a true blue fan
To a bad, bad, man
Who didn't give a shit
And it's from all of it
I am this

Who am I to me?
Who am I to me?
I need to grieve
I need to be

I've been digging in the dirt for something I already had
My hands
I've been reaching, reaching for people of mine to find
What I am
I grasp my empty hand