[Montresor]
'J. Ducrow, Esq. Herbalist,
Doctor of Natural Medicine'...
[Herbalist]
At you service, and it could be, sir,
That you have need of my panaceas now...
I have Mandrake juice that will slake any fever,
Cures to convince you though you be an unbeliever now...
Laugh - would you? - at these seeds of mine.
You question the cure's causes,
But Logic and Reason do not answer,
And Nature runs her courses.
I have purest poppy for the soundest of sleeps;
A pure cake of hemp plant
That's a warranted surcease of worldly sorrow.
Lying words will be believed
If perfumed by this pastil,
Or my elixir's guaranteed
To bend the will of fairest womankind.
Scheme, would you, for a worldly gain?
Lust after a frigid virgin?
My herbs can grant your secret cravings
And my price is modest!
[Montresor] No! No!
[Herbalist] And my price is modest...
[Montresor] No, thank you! No!
[Herbalist] Oh it's very modest...
[Montresor] No, no thank you!
No!
No thank you,
No!
[Herbalist] Perhaps a poultice of Toadbane
For weakness of the manly parts,
Caused by too much wine or age,
Perhaps by over-frequent natural indulgence...
Applied with skill, it will
Revive the fleshy passions of a corpse...
...of a corpse
[Montresor] I said no
I meant no!
[Herbalist] Well then, Good-day...