Phil Harris - Darktown Poker Club Lyrics

Bill Jackson was a poor old dub
Who joined the Darktown Poker Club
But cursed the day he told them he would join
His money used to go like it had wings
If he yelled queens, someone had kings
And each night he would contribute all his coin
Then he said Im gonna play em tight tonight
He said therell be no bobtail flushes make me bite
Cause when I gets in them my hands will be a peach
And he played them tight but lost his pile
And Bill got peevish after a while
So he rose, looked all around, and made this speech

He said you all see this brand new razor
I had it sharpened just today
Now Im coming in there with my rules
That you must follow when you play
Now keep your big bony hands on the table
While you dealing, please
And dont be slippin them aces down there
Er, in between your knees
And dont be makin all them funny signs
Like you tryin to tip off your hand
Just talk in American, boy, American
Sos I can understand
And dont be dealin off the bottom
Because ooh thats rough
Take five, five, then stop, thats enough
Now when you bet put up the chips
Because I dont like it when you shy
Then if you get busted go on out and get some
Im gonna be here by and by

Pass them cards for me to shuffle
Everytime before you deals
Then if anythings wrong, I must see
Cause I mean, you always aint no, er
Keep playin that game according to Mr. Hoyle
You all play this game accordin to me

Now sittin right there in that there clan
There chance to be a one-eyed man
And Bill kept watchin him out the corner of his eye
When ole one-eye would deal and then
Would cost that Bill another five or ten
Bill got up again, looked all around him with a sigh
He said, Lord, t