paintriiip - MAD Lyrics

All I know's the universe a reflection of me
So I see through the bullshit cause I'm pretending to be
Somebody that's happy and has the purest energy
But they don't know that the mirror be my biggest enemy
When I be the change Imma see the change, what I tell myself
Yet a lot of times I think I should kill myself
I could give you all advice but I don't help myself
Cause I could tell you all to stay alive and kill myself
That's ironic but it's true though
Iconic motherf*cker prolly talking out his culo
Don't confront me bout my sadness motherf*cker what do you know?
I roll solo dolo like a f*cking game of UNO
Got a lot of kids watching now
It'd be stupid if I plotted on stopping now
But it's hard when you end up in the lost and found
To get lost again, and then they cross him out
Expectations only lead to disappointment
And this sad boy shit a chance to get your coin in
It wasn't cool to be a mess, now it's cool to be depressed
I been at war with myself without a bulletproof vest
Yesterday was a good day, today I'm suicidal
Tomorrow I'll be happy, play my part for the recital
Just so I could get on stage and smile, inside I wanna die though
Tell my truth and shed my tears so they can tell me "it was fye though"

I'm getting mad at myself, I'm getting mad at the world
I don't think I love myself, so I cannot love the world
I'm getting mad at myself, I'm getting mad at the world
I don't think I love myself, so I cannot love the world

Crazy how often I be going through the motions
Crazy how suppressed I keep all of my emotions
Crazy how I'm sinking way deeper in this ocean
Crazy how I don't know how to keep my head floating
All I want is to find peace of mind
Live a life that I'll soon leave behind
Where I fly and even the lead the blind
Not this life where I can't sleep at night
Panicking thoughts they happen to me a lot
All these mannequin bots, I fear are part of a plot
I'm paranoid and can't trust no one, that's a hell of a cost
I wonder and I wander on my path till I'm lost
I can't even hit the blunt at times without overthinking
Becoming super self conscious, and then I think about leaving
Cause everything is too damn much, I'm tired of feeling this feeling
I think I'm gonna end it all when I go home in the evening
But I never do it, do I?
Gotta keep my cool, cause my temper getting too hot
All I am's a ticking time bomb that let you watch
I already count the seconds, why the f*ck I need a new watch?
Explain to me that
I'm just afraid of to be wack, I ain't complaining in fact
My brain isn't intact, I'm on a train with no track
My thoughts spaghetti junction, man this traffic is backed
So ain't no where to go the only way's a panic attack
And I hate that f*cking feeling, can't escape where I'm at
Because even if I did I'd still be in this body trapped
And the only way to kill this feeling's when I body raps
But that isn't enough, least they ain't calling your bluff
At least you spilling them feelings instead spilling your blood
When there's no rope to pull you up when you be stuck in the mud
But I can't wait to leave this body, dawg I'm so f*cking done, kill me

I don't think - I don't think I love myself
I'm getting - I'm getting mad at myself
I don't think - I don't think I love myself
So I cannot love the world