Wednesday morn, the house is all my own
This peace and quiet can't come too soon
The sink is full with last night's dirty pans
I'll wash them up this afternoon
The TV's on, it's Jeremy Kyle, I think I'll rest my legs a while
When we move, I'll be house-proud
When we buy, I'll be house-proud
When we extend, I'll be house-proud
I'll be house-proud someday
The garden's overgrown, there's dog mess on the lawn
The carpet's thick with canine hair
Clothes are strewn 'cross every bedroom floor
Toys adorning every stair
Another cup of tea and then I'll check my Facebook once again
When we move, I'll be house-proud
When we buy, I'll be house-proud
When pigs fly, I'll be house-proud
I'll be house-proud someday
Ten past three, I guess I'll just rely
On the cleaning, scrubbing, tidying elves
'Cos it's almost time to collect the kids from school
And these Jaffa Cakes won't eat themselves