Sometimes, it's not our tears that measure our pain
But it's the fake smiles we put on everyday
I'm so tired of always acting like i'm okay
But it's just so much easier than even trying to explain
How I feel to all these people who just can't relate
When i smile i wonder if they can see it's fake
Or if they can see the pain inside my very eyes
Or i've become a master now at always wearing this disguise
Because I'm hurting, but I try my best to never show it
Ask how I am
I say i'm good
But i am at the lowest
That i have have been for as long as I've been alive
I'm hurting but won't let anyone about what's inside of me
I'm in the depths of my own mind
I feel like I'm drowning
I'm fighting demons everyday, but I feel surrounded
This is a battle
And I'm losing
I can't hold on no longer
They say you grow from all your pain
But I'm not getting stronger
I'm getting weaker as everyday passes by
They told me that love's the answer
I responded that's a lie
Cuz I was in love
And came out more broken than I went in
Now every single day I'm just waiting for heaven
I don't want to be alive
But I don't wanna take my life
Cause I'm afraid of what's on the other side of this
Oh i don't wanna lose my mind
And i don't wanna say goodbye
Oh I just wanna fall into a world of blissfulness
But everyday is feeling just a little bit colder
And everyday I feel this weight that's falling down on my shoulders
I understand it's in my brain but still I feel I can't hold it
I feel like I am just a man but I'm trying to carry boulders of weight
To distract me from this pain
Maybe I am just a fool that's inflicting this in my veins
And I'm
On the highway that I've been trying that I've been trying to avoid
And still i wake up everyday shocked that I'm still destroyed
Oh I
I don't want to be alive
But I don't wanna take my life
Cause I'm afraid of what's on the other side of this
Oh i don't wanna lose my mind
And i don't wanna say goodbye
Oh I just wanna fall into a world of blissfulness
I don't want to be alive
And I don't wanna take my life
Cause I'm afraid of what's on the other side of this