tbwtbl Video (MV)

I don't f*cking know
Like i don't even know anymore cus I say like
You know
Im trying to do things for the people around me but i'm just drinking
Smoking, and doing stupid shit now like
I don't
I don't know
Like, I feel like I need too much and it's too much to ask for
Like
I need constant reassurance
I need to feel appreciated
I need to feel all these stupid ass f*cking things and I don't feel like those are necessary
Like why the f*ck do I feel like I need them
That's what bothers me
Like why
Why am I asking for so much
Why do I need so much
Why am I so unlovable
Like why can't nobody acknowledge my abilities
Why can't
I don't f*cking know
At this like
At this point
I'm kind of just here
I don't even know why I got ready for something acting like I didn't want something to happen to me
And that's one other thing like I shouldn't even be having suicidal thoughts anymore
Yet I still do and I try to like
Neglect them
I try to like look like turn the other cheek because i'm a follower of Jesus but I can't help it
Like I don't like this bag of flesh
I don't
I don't like my flesh, I don't like this person
I don't like the feelings he f*cking gives out because of what
Literally, because of what
Like for these woman that actually don't matter to me
I'm being shown by these women that like i'm
I'm not enough, you know like
It's not enough for me to be attached to you
I've been trying to be a
Not even a good person but just
I've been trying to be me and
Every time I try to be me, I come to figure out I don't like myself
I don't like this person I present, I don't
I don't like me
I don't love me