As a kid I'd get scratch tickets instead of gifts
They'd come wrapped in newspaper
They'd arrive in greeting cards
But they were never on my Christmas list
I wanted anything but what I got
And as a teenager the gifts got stranger and stranger
There was one year, you robbed a liquor store
I got a bottle of soda and a bag of candy
But later in that same year, you laughed and laughed
When all my f*cking teeth fell out
I wanted anything but what I got