Wasted out of my mind I'm in the
Pub with a crazy bitch from tinder
Boom
So
This guy took my phone and asked like "you wanna check this app? it's for free"
I asked "isn't crap? huh?"
He said "look, it only helps lonely folks like me
In need for love"
A couple of swipes later I'm picking up this girl from down town
Foreign language she's not from around here
We decided we'd grab a beer
What happened next wasn't even near what I expected, no
She said "open your mouth
Surprise it's acid!"
Oh shit suddenly I'm tripping balls
She said "you gotta be feeling it in your stomach"
And I said "you crazy bitch"
You gotta be kidding
I mean why would you
I should've stayed home, girl
She said open your mouth and close your eyes