[ Featuring Mrs. Paintbrush ]
Take a first aid course with your grandson
Type A gentleman fiendishly handsome
Eat three new foods and give a critique
Remain eloquent every time you speak
Color a coloring book page and sign your name
Scavenge antique wood and build a frame
Frame the artwork up
Goddamn ! the grandfather grandson team strikes again
Take your grandson down to the abandoned home for the mentally retarded
Bring a kerosene lantern and an illegal ceramic handgun
Shoot a ghost and sing the grandfather grandson anthem
It sounds just like this
Now hit a fifties diner for a hot apple crisp
This desert is too saccharine
Send it back
Better yet cancel the order
Matter of fact, contact the cook who chef'd it left it imperfected
Cue up his culinary track record
Get him health inspected, then can him
Nevermind, I think I'll order the poached salmon
My programming is not confrontational
Cool calm grandpa so funsational
Huh, I think that's my cue to ride a powerful synth wave back into Xanadu.
888 ways to have a blast on your grandfather's last day. 888
Make cinnamon toast
Grind psyillium husk
Take vinegar pills
Play chess on a bus
Clean part of the house
Hang-glide off a cliff
Steam wallpaper
Install a fridge
Make walnut fudge for homeless kids
Make homeless kids install a bridge. oh yes!
Ooh ! are you getting the gist?
Your grandfather persevered so that you could exist
To grow up to enlist in the greatest war
For all the chips, the one we've been praying for
I mean holograms, I mean Russians man,
I mean blowing up eart to kill aliens ! 888 ways
It was substantial, the time that we spent that night
The Qualite Motel was lit just right
A fierce transmutation of cosmic planes
My Grandfather's essence enriched my veins
The red rivulet runs down the alchemical passage
Mere mortality loses, my grandfather surpassed his
888 ways to have a blast on your grandfathers last day.
