Blue Christmas Video (MV)

Come to think about it, it's all in my head
It's safe to say that I am going to be lonely for the rest of my motherf*cking life
There's no ***** on this planet who wants me
And I've grown to accept that fact, okay
I don't give a f*ck, okay
There's no girl who wants me on this Earth
Love is a longing
For connection, for recognition, for wholeness
To traverse the lonely void that separates us from each other
I love you more than life itself
It's not a craving, it's a yearning
A desire for reunion with our other half, Aristophenes
And does this prisoner return your love
It won't come out
Sorry for dying

I keep letting out more line but no one's answering
Sometimes I feel like wilding out so bad they call an ambulance
Just so I can feel like I was noticed, I was heard for once
So someone could wanna fix the fact that I was hurt for once
I could go on as the only person on the Earth for months
The problem isn't being alone, it's being alone in that that sucks
I could be stabbed by a thousand needles like it's acupunct'
Sure it'd hurt, but less than being stuck inside the aqueduct of illness
Going with the flow but resisting it
Sampling like I'm not afraid of being cease and desisted
Some days you hand me so much hope, some days you sound agnostic
So even if I make waves for the day, they ain't lossless
It's humiliating displaying my most pathetic self and then not talking through it
Wanting to say things but watering them down, they're awkward too
Now obviously this is not working
I bottle it up, the cork pops, and pain's bursting
Ostensibly there'd be the sense in me to stop spending time so pensively
Sensory overload
I loathed the lowered quality of the group polity
That's why I had to leave the colony
And now at least I'm seething solemnly
Feel like it's all on me
The only one who has my back is the one who's back it is, it's me
If God can't mend my heart, at least let me send this shit back for free
Paranoia toying with me, what if you're attacking me
Cause we both wanna hit the same target with all the accuracy
I'd ask if you say this to everyone
Feel my cerebellum betray me
Embellishing things insanely
Embezzling untruths and humouring uncouth maybes
I think that I'm going crazy
I'm thinking that you could save me
So as I wish on my Christmas list or say grace
Please don't hit me with a smile and a shake to save face, my dear
I'd rather see the Reaper than fear whether it's coming
Cause I don't wanna be stuck wondering when I should be running
Love

I love him so much with all my heart and my soul
With every bone in my body, I love him so much
With every bone in my body, I love him so much
With every bone in my body, I love him so much
With every bone in my body, I love him so much