"Thank you everyone who voted for me
Didn't matter, it was a total fix, haha, they have no clue
Anyway, so, as your new president,"
"I am making it my forefront priority to make sure,
My family have the best healthcare, houses, and cars, that your money can buy"
"I'll be doubling the amount of problems in this country,
And I brainwashed you all so much, you haven't even realized, you dumb shits!"
"Wait"
"Hi, I am Lucifer, first created and most powerful of the angels,
Formed of pure heavenly fire, and I approve this message"