Salutations my dear roadkill
You look like you've had a cheap haircut
You smell like your uncle
Set your bed on fire
You taste like someone left
A dog in the oven
Salutations my old panic attack
You sound like a drowning vicar
You move like
Your bones must have melted
You dance like a confused paper bag
Soaked in animal fat
Salutations my pointless pleasure
You command respect like a scrambled egg
You impress the gathered crowd
Like a lake of stale milk
You strut your stuff
Like a filthy armchair
Salutations you feral charmer
With the eyes of an ashtray
You make small talk
Like a beauty pageant lobotomy
You are everything
I aspire to be