Mind Body Soul Video (MV)

Mind, body, and soul get me in sync
Sitting in my room impatient I start to think
Open up my eyes I'm hoping that I can move
Afraid of the unknown what do I have to lose?
I don't know sanity maybe clarity
Finding out who I am is really scaring me
But finding out who I'm not is even worse
Disperse my cursed words first second and third
My mind scattered in the wind
This anxiety I'm back at it again
All the voices in my head keep telling me how to feel
They begin where they end so how do I know what's real?
And I man I'm panicking
I'm just hoping for the day that I can stand again
It's a battle just to keep me alive
And everyday is another war that I have survived
And number two looking at the man in the mirror
But he ain't getting any clearer
Or maybe it's me and my vision is blurred
Or maybe this is what it's like to see all of the things that I heard
Like maybe if I had a better body
I probably wouldn't be doubting myself as a hobby
Or maybe if I wasn't this big
I wouldn't have to worry 'bout all of the clothes I don't fit
Man I need some help
How can I love somebody else when I can't love myself?
Damn it gets so hard
The third part is when I come to grips with my heart
I'm scarred I had friends turned enemies
And I'm still at odds with my inner me
I pray to God somebody can understand
And I should've took my life when I had that chance
And I'm just being honest
It gets the loudest when I hear the silence
It's like I'm hearing sirens
Constantly out of my mind check the flyer mileage
Piece it together but it's never complete
And everyday is getting hard to believe
That I could feel better trying my hardest to breathe
Wishing I was what my audience sees
Just me
Mind, body, soul
Mind, body, soul
Stare at the wall I'm looking for freedom
Straining my voice I'm yelling to free him
Blood in my tears I can't even see him
He looks fine but I don't believe him
That's the man who I currently am
Hiding my shame with a smile forever I'm damned
Forever I'm pained forever I'm broken
Forever I regret every word that was spoken
Forever I'm holding every insecurity and lie
And every impurity that I used to survive
Every memory of hating myself
I was losing my mind but I thought that I was saving myself
I believed I was healing my heart
But the truth of the matter I was breaking apart
Playing the part of a man that I wanna be
Nah I'm the man y'all forced me to be
Where anger is communication
Lot of hatred in my conversation got me contemplating
How the hell can I end this life?
I wanna smile in pictures I cry you listen but this ain't right
So what am I supposed to do?
Who am I supposed to be if I can't live my truth
And live like you? Will they ever stop asking questions?
Will I ever stop confessing?
I'm sorry I don't like playing ball
I'm sorry I'm afraid to stand tall
I'm sorry I'm not man enough
I'm sorry I'm not manning up
I'm sorry I don't like women
I'm sorry that I couldn't fit in
I'm sorry I'm a little different
I'm sorry that I even did this
But I had to