RL - apartment Lyrics

Whole life I've felt imprisoned, told me that I couldn't fix it
Times I talk you never listen, so right now I'm feeling distant
So I'll shut my mouth and hide my face, cause I feel like such a big disgrace
Want to be over I can't handle weight, there's too much going on inside my brain
Whole life been locked up in a cell, my life seems never going well
Got many stories I could tell, going manic I've been so propelled
On the roof of my apartment, blood stains all fill up the carpet
Brains gone manic I can't solve it, wish I could but I'm the target
Just a victim by design, break down it makes me wanna cry
Mental wanna leave but don't wanna die, all blame on me like I'm the guy
I wish I could just change my mind, but I can't go way back this time
I wish that you could hear my cries, but all you do is spread some lies
Tell me honestly, would you even care if I left
Or would you leave me by-myself my final breath
And I can't tell if you really stayed or left
Can't make up my mind if I really want the death
You're so complacent I can't tell if It's all true
Or if It's all a lie, yeah I can't see it through
Got the cross on your neck don't see a single bruise
Can't get over all the thoughts of you
Don't think that I can fix it, It's not true It's all just fiction
I'm so lost can't see the vision, three four's causing me confliction
On the roof of my apartment, blood stains all fill up the carpet
Brains gone manic I can't solve it, wish I could but I'm the target
Just a victim by design, break down it makes me wanna cry
Mental wanna leave but don't wanna die, all blame on me like I'm the guy