You know one time, I knew a guy called Ralph
Seems like a really long time ago now
But he was a friend
Well, there's guys like Hoyst that gotta be moist
Girls like Joanna with a modern day manner
Mamas like Joyce with her turned up voice
The eyes-apple handles, that taste of a triple banana
Oh, Ralph, give me a spanner, that's what I want
Well, there's guys like Raymond that gotta be dim
Cats like John that gotta be dumb, unlike him
You come in with the guys that can handle
The pace of a young iguana
Please Ralph, give me a spanner
Come on, Ralph, that's what I want