Run4mok - Letters From A Dead Man Lyrics

I'm right there
I'm right there

I found nothing good in depression
I just rotted in my thoughts
I keep tripping inside my soul anticipating the cost
Constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop
You think you're the main character you better not
No one cares about your problems
No one cares about your struggles
No one's there when you need love you
Only valuable in trouble
'Cause you are the one they run to and you stand tall
Like you ain't going through your own shit
Don't feel like you at all
You really feel a burden so you put this shit in songs
And you're hoping someone hears you to check in to how you're going
I don't think I'm depressed
Just overwhelmed doing too much
When I'm at rest they gon' be going through my music
Was he depressed?
Is there a reason that he left us?
Was it his time or was there something in these letters?
It's been a struggle coming to grip with the fact I'm going to die
Now I'm finding comfort in it I can finally rest my mind

I'm right there
And when you forget me
I'm right there

It all started from a kid
It was the social catalyst
To expect the worst from people and never trust friends
Ingrained to put on a fake smile and pretend
I can blame but pointing the finger don't make me a man
I got to take responsibility for what I did
I've broken so many hearts and say it is what it is
I've lost so many people without giving a shit
Thought if I didn't care then I wouldn't have to miss
There goes another person I failed to commit to
There goes another I never told what they mean to me
There goes another version of me that I had to pick through
Here goes another turn of events I have to live through
All cause I'm stubborn and
I don't want to see the light at the end of the tunnel
Don't think I don't value my life
I might've derailed but I will never lose steam
I keep circling in the ring cause I still got hoop dreams

I'm right there
And when you forget me
I'm right there

Nothing was the same
I found comfort in pain
How many different ways can I write that I'm insane?
How many sad songs can I make 'til I break?
I want to get nirvana but there's something in the way
I can't overcome it
I'm too weak I'm afraid
It's been with me for years and I don't think I'll escape
Smiling through the tears eventually chips away
To the point you can't tell if what you're feeling is really fake
I cry so casually
It's embarrassing to say
But why is it weak to admit I don't think I'm okay?
Why is it me alone trying to navigate the pain
And trauma they dumped on me and left me to translate?
I am not a weak man
I'm just another case of failing to capture the happiness I ain't replace
There's so much that happened to me that I could probably blame
But why should I when the blood on my hands ain't wash away?
Tamara's been the first woman I could ever trust
And it's been long process to get me to open up
But I still never budge cause I don't think I need help
And I crawl back in my shell
I'm a shadow of myself
I know I'm insignificant in the grand scale of things
The world's going to keep turning on the day I leave
I don't expect you to care I just wanted to say my peace
Letters from a dead man that you'll probably never read
And when you forget me

I'm right there
I'm right there