Statler Brothers - You Can't Go Home Lyrics

(Don Reid)

Roy taught me how to play baseball
And do the foxtrot on the harp
Taught me how to swim and fish
And tell the difference between bass and carp.

Taught me how to snap my fingers
Whistle through my teeth, oh Uncle Roy
He sure took time to make times good
For a little pesty half grown boy.

Aunt Kathleen would wash my clothes
And blow my nose whenever nature called
Darn my socks and damn the pox
But kept me out of school from fall to fall.

Gave me movie money though I
Never did my chores the way I should
To a nasty little nephew Kathleen
You sure made aunthood awful good.

And Freddy used to laughed to me
Whenever something valuable got broke
He taught me how to climb a tree
About birds and bees and taught me how to smoke.

He took me on a first date
I was scared to death but he said you'll do fine
Good buddy, you're my cousin
But you seem more like a brother of mine.

But you can't go home to the good times
You can't go home anymore
Roy's all crippled up nowm Kathleen can hardly see
Freddy's off somewhere to fight a war.

But you can't go home to the good times
You can't go home anymore
Everything has changed and who were there to blame
Gone far that you just can't go home.

--- Instrumental ---

Looking back I'd say I had the best childhood
That money just can't buy
And I owe it all to three good folks
Who took me in when mom began to die.

They always told me son just do what's right
And you'll be proud just wait and see
Well, Roy and Kathleen I'm only proud
That you're the ones who's proud of me.

But you can't go home to the good times
You can't go home anymore
Roy's rheumatism, Kathleen's cataract
And Freddy's fightin' someone else's war...