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Sha Tillman - Constant Disarray Lyrics



Sha Tillman - Constant Disarray Lyrics




F*ck this, I don't even know what to say
I've been trying to write this shit for days
Forcing myself to reinforce the positivity to distract myself from all these f*cking thoughts in my brain
This depression's had an overstay
I can't keep smoking days away
I can't keep watching time decay
Letting this shit push my girl away
Man, that's f*cking insane
Grandma just tell me "Sit down and pray, let him show you the way"
But who the f*ck is God? Man, I don't even believe myself
Staring at that whiskey on the shelf but I know that shit won't help
I said "who the f*ck is God?" Man, I don't even believe in myself
Staring at that .45, wanna cock it back, I'm scared that might help
When I was younger I never thought I'd see myself in this position
When you as numb as me, it don't matter who the f*ck you missing
Your momma, daddy & friends gone missing
Everything just feels so different
So hard to accept that they might not fit within the vision but I still have faith...

I still have faith
I still have faith
I still have faith
That there are ways to stop the ache, I just can't down another 1/8th
This is my attempt to put my pain in it's place and replace it with confidence if I can find the space
How much more can I take? Bent up, really hoping I don't break
I just need to stop the ache, I just can't down another 1/8th
This is my attempt to put my pain in it's place and replace it with confidence if I can find the space

Put everybody else above me, myself is the only person I've betrayed
This ain't Sha, who the f*ck have I portrayed?
Tell that mother f*cker that I'd like to smile again one day
Really, I got a lot to say, so I had to put my life up on display
I don't remember how to appreciate those good days
My attitude has changed
I just can't seem to break away
How can I end this f*cking pain?
I feel a constant disarray
Don't listen to the voices, Sha
I know it's hard to disobey
End it all
Make the f*cking self-doubt go away
Where the f*ck do you go when you can't run away?
I don't really know the play
I just take it day to day
Floating through time, lost in a cloud of anxiety
So stuck in the moment, wish someone would just show a sign to me
'Cause I don't know what but I'm in desperate need of something
It's like every time I get up on my feet I just can't stop stumbling
There are times when I dry my eyes just so you won't know
All these years I've shed tears have watered the seeds, now it's time to grow
'Cause I still have faith...

I still have faith
I still have faith
I still have faith
That there are ways to stop the ache, I just can't down another 1/8th
This is my attempt to put my pain in it's place and replace it with confidence if I can find the space
How much more can I take? Bent up, really hoping I don't break
I just need to stop the ache, I just can't down another 1/8th
This is my attempt to put my pain in it's place and replace it with confidence if I can find the space
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F*ck this, I don't even know what to say
I've been trying to write this shit for days
Forcing myself to reinforce the positivity to distract myself from all these f*cking thoughts in my brain
This depression's had an overstay
I can't keep smoking days away
I can't keep watching time decay
Letting this shit push my girl away
Man, that's f*cking insane
Grandma just tell me "Sit down and pray, let him show you the way"
But who the f*ck is God? Man, I don't even believe myself
Staring at that whiskey on the shelf but I know that shit won't help
I said "who the f*ck is God?" Man, I don't even believe in myself
Staring at that .45, wanna cock it back, I'm scared that might help
When I was younger I never thought I'd see myself in this position
When you as numb as me, it don't matter who the f*ck you missing
Your momma, daddy & friends gone missing
Everything just feels so different
So hard to accept that they might not fit within the vision but I still have faith...

I still have faith
I still have faith
I still have faith
That there are ways to stop the ache, I just can't down another 1/8th
This is my attempt to put my pain in it's place and replace it with confidence if I can find the space
How much more can I take? Bent up, really hoping I don't break
I just need to stop the ache, I just can't down another 1/8th
This is my attempt to put my pain in it's place and replace it with confidence if I can find the space

Put everybody else above me, myself is the only person I've betrayed
This ain't Sha, who the f*ck have I portrayed?
Tell that mother f*cker that I'd like to smile again one day
Really, I got a lot to say, so I had to put my life up on display
I don't remember how to appreciate those good days
My attitude has changed
I just can't seem to break away
How can I end this f*cking pain?
I feel a constant disarray
Don't listen to the voices, Sha
I know it's hard to disobey
End it all
Make the f*cking self-doubt go away
Where the f*ck do you go when you can't run away?
I don't really know the play
I just take it day to day
Floating through time, lost in a cloud of anxiety
So stuck in the moment, wish someone would just show a sign to me
'Cause I don't know what but I'm in desperate need of something
It's like every time I get up on my feet I just can't stop stumbling
There are times when I dry my eyes just so you won't know
All these years I've shed tears have watered the seeds, now it's time to grow
'Cause I still have faith...

I still have faith
I still have faith
I still have faith
That there are ways to stop the ache, I just can't down another 1/8th
This is my attempt to put my pain in it's place and replace it with confidence if I can find the space
How much more can I take? Bent up, really hoping I don't break
I just need to stop the ache, I just can't down another 1/8th
This is my attempt to put my pain in it's place and replace it with confidence if I can find the space
[ Correct these Lyrics ]
Writer: Sha Tillman
Copyright: Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

Back to: Sha Tillman



Performed By: Sha Tillman
Length: 3:58
Written by: Sha Tillman
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