Shep - Falling Lyrics

I hope I'm not falling
I hope I'm not falling down
I choke as I plummet
Lost grip now I'm falling down
I've been feeling down lately
I've been trying to pick myself back up
Or maybe just the slack I left along the way but
I just don't know how lately
I'm a soldier, I've been told, though
I can suffer through the cold
I wanna get this off my chest
But don't feel bad for me
This my way of coming back from it
I'll be stronger than ever, I promise
Long as I give what I got
Satan won't take half of me
I lost all of my confidence couple weeks ago
Vanished, all of the compliments did so we did too
Now I'm left alone in this room with only myself and improvement
Negativity's introduced to the energy that I feed it to
I'm sorry, I forgot that you loved me and so I ran away
A vividly enticing memory of you awaits
Underneath my hair I'm terrified not, scared to say it
And no matter how far I run I can't escape my own hate
Happiness is a habit, right, well that's what I preach
They say they're proud of me, cause nobody knows what it means
I train myself to radiate joy for all those to see
But after only so long it starts to have no affect on me
I hope I'm not falling
I hope I'm not falling down
I choke as I plummet
Lost grip now I'm falling down
I'm not trying to call for help, I know I got my Jesus
It's just I wish sometimes I wish He's someone I could verbally speak with
Ain't nothing more powerful than the Holy Spirit
But sometimes I don't pay as much attention to it as I do my demons
Christianity is not perfection, hope you know it
Cause I'm a Christian, I'm not perfect if you haven't noticed
Wait, have I lost touch, have I lost my privilege
I am not done, not enough did I witness
I know I'm not at all deserving of your Kingdom, God
You say you love me, be with me in disbelief, oh God
I leave the people who do things that do not please me, God
But you never leave me when I don't wanna receive you, God
Amazing, you're with me in moments that I shun away
The day I fall into the coldest, still your love awaits
If you've got all this love for me, why can't I love myself
I tried to train my heart to be happy, didn't train it well
I try not to use trigger words in this type of flow
Cause I want my music to be raw and not have second motives
Poor mental health and anxiety's really got me going but
That's all they talk about nowadays so I try avoiding
I could preach the right message but still I'm anxious, how
What if I say the right words but they hate the way it sounds
Hope when spreading love it don't come off as throwing rocks
And when the day of judgement comes I just hope I'm not falling
I hope I'm not falling
I hope I'm not falling down
I choke as I plummet
Lost grip now I'm falling down