Shiva - Memoir. Lyrics

How you stop time just to whine away the seconds
Whatcha live for if you gonna keep forgetting
Always strive higher always on a mission
Message hit faster than a motherf*cking piston
Growing up my life never it knew different
Always carried darkness thrills I was itching
Why the big kids always say stop bitching
Looked to myself like what was really missing?
Fantasies I had but I never carried vision
Never felt peace, all my life there was tension
Calm angry mixed boy, lived in duality
Saw the black and white man that was just reality
Saw the white side, lived on the black one
Always a nigga better dribble or rap son
Do what we say son, live by the contract
Hide ya wife, hide ya kids we just made contact

Days are long, tears are songs
Write to write, fight to fight
Seen the skies, seen the lies
Live in spite, live in fright

Feeling like I'm runnin I don't even know whats chasin
Runnin out of options man they got me pacing
Pacing back and forth, never making right moves
Ask all my exes, never made the right move
Never was the cool dude
If they could sum me up?
They would call a nigga rude
Heh yeah maybe true
Lived in a cage, had to caesar had to break out
Found myself in a bigger cage there's no way out
Whether your the f*ck up, or you live like a drone
They will never care about the storm brewing in ya dome
Yo f*ck the devil yo f*ck God
This pool is dead no more odd jobs
Heh when I say that, there's no disrespect
But I live in a gray can't speak my dialect?
Never been a damn slave, never been a cliche
Why try to hold me, do you wanna die today?
Meditated murder, did that shit in a trance
Destroy ignorance, this is just the Shiva dance
I can do it in a step
I can do it don't forget
These can be my last words
I just wanna be heard