Sidewalk Furniture - Holtzmann Lyrics

Cool inventions and really bad jokes
Bad butch wardrobe and drinks with the blokes
Tenure track f*ckup always doing the most
I wanna backpack that helps me catch ghosts
Catch ghosts
Holtzmann invented the proton pack
She opened up a portal and still came back
She's got her own fusion reactor in Hoboken
And she chews her food with her mouth wide open
Mouth wide open
I wanna be Holtzmann when I grow up
Stop giving a f*ck, stop giving a f*ck
I wanna be Holtzmann when I grow up
Stop giving a f*ck, stop giving a f*ck
I wanna be Holtzmann, whoah-oh
I wanna be Holtzmann, whoah-oh
Wish I could pull off a jumpsuit like her
Walks like a jock and f*cks like a nerd
Left hand in the air flipping off the man
Right hand deep in a Pringles can
Pringles can
I wanna be Holtzmann when I grow up
Stop giving a f*ck, stop giving a f*ck
I wanna be Holtzmann when I grow up
Stop giving a f*ck, stop giving a f*ck
I wanna be Holtzmann, whoah-oh
I wanna be Holtzmann, whoah-oh
Jillian Holtzmann, PhD
Who needs social skills with friends like these?
She's messy and tough, and she sticks to it
I wanna be an engineer who doesn't give a shit!
I wanna be Holtzmann
I wanna be Holtzmann when I grow up
Stop giving a f*ck, stop giving a f*ck
I wanna be Holtzmann when I grow up
Stop giving a f*ck, stop giving a f*ck!
I wanna be Holtzmann when I grow up
Stop giving a f*ck, stop giving a f*ck
I wanna be Holtzmann when I grow up
Stop giving a f*ck, stop giving a f*ck
I wanna be Holtzmann, whoah-oh
I wanna be Holtzmann, whoah-oh