Simon Joyner - Leavenworth Cafe Blues Lyrics

The Leavenworth Cafe Blues


I couldn't get an edge in word-wise again
Suffered through your arguments, left the apartment
Complex is sex, so the surgeon general says
Cancer causes cigarettes
I must have been delirious


Because I knocked the door off the hinges
Walked to the Walgreens, bought a pack of bandages
For cumulative damages
A broken string for each heart pang
I'll sing 'til I resolve this thing
Mysterious rugburns and curious bruises
Commiserations and subterfuge


Liar, liar, pants on fire
Go hang on a telephone wire
And while you're there, kiss a bear
Just don't forget your underwear
And don't forget your stockings, too,
Your perverse bra and your Converse shoes
Because what I don't know can't hurt you, I see
But what I do know could ruin me


I heard about your rock star
He unwrapped you like a candy bar
I hope you got a free t-shirt, at least,
Before he crescendoed on my sheets
After you crawled over him
With your furious foam and phlegm
And your tongue-in-cheek, whiz gee
I guess an electric guitar is all you need
Have you got an electric guitar for me?


You're so full of shit I'm surprised
There's any blue left in your eyes
I suffered through all of your excuses
Now I just want to fry in my own juices
It's sixty-five degrees under one-fourth lightning
And one-fourth thunder and one-quarter rain
On my parade and a quarter for my refill
At The Leavenworth Cafe