Soft & Sweet - Fucking Up Again Lyrics

The sky is turning violet
I'm blowing smoke out of my window
And thinking back to the last time you were in this room

See, you were 18 and in love
And just taught me how to play piano
You never got to hear the song I wrote for you

It's called "When She Sleeps"
And I wrote down every word before that January night in Allentown

And I've since changed the key
I changed the chords
I changed the melody
Like you'd expect of me

Because I can't make up my mind when you're not with me
I've been f*cking up again
And made mistakes in Corpus Christi
Where I was trying to press my luck
For a night of nameless f*cks
But I can't afford them

Your sister calls me every Sunday
And we meet up to go get lunch
A mutual heartache brought us close, and keeps us in touch

And she always brings her daughter
She named her "Kate" to show you honor
I just smile when she calls me "Uncle Dennis"

But on weekdays, I get low
And I swear you'd never recognize me
A bearded face and bloodstains on my teeth

Starting fights that I can't win
My sunken eyes and taped up hands
Chasing anything to make the nightmare end

Because I don't like who I am when you're not with me
I've been f*cking up again
And got arrested outside of Philly
And now I'm running from the law
But those bastards never saw them vandalize your tombstone

And Sarah's on the highway
But I think she might be too late
'Cause I hung up the phone
Close the blinds, no one's home
I mean in more ways than one
I feel vacant, I feel f*cked
I feel like taking the exit
But that's breaking a promise I swore I'd keep

But I just don't know where to go when you're not with me
I've been f*cking up again
I'll buy a ticket to New York City
You always wanted to see the sights
So baby, just for tonight
Prove that your presence is with me