SpecialFeature - Lost Lyrics

Yeah, sitting inside of my car in dark and blast instrumentals
Seeing the lights of the city just really don't move me
I need some peace and some quiet
I hate that I'm like this
I'm looking for change, I promise I'm trying
Mentioned the love that I had for you, I wasn't lying
Making mistakes but I promise I'm trying
I want you know that I got a lot of love for you
Got a lot of trust for you
Yeah, you said that you weren't a fan of much books but somehow you learned to read me
I'm always scared to get back on my feet
Always wondering who I should be
Always avoided being detrimental cause I want to get to my dreams
But I'm asking myself, is it all worth it if I don't get to be me?
I just want some love and release
Hate second guessing the way I should be
Hate people altering the way that I think and the way I believe
I just need a moment, let me be
Let me breathe
I'm getting tired of all the people draining all my energy
Trynna put me down just because they can't envy me
They don't wanna see me alive
They don't wanna see me thrive
They just rather see me die
All they ever do is feed me lie after lie
Am I losing my mind?
Am I wasting my time?
All I know is that I'm broke
Not for all the money I don't have, but from the lies that I bought, that you sold
All these feeling that I'm feeling
I got to let it go
Man this is getting old
I act like I'm strong and I'm bold
But I need someone to hold
I feel like I'm losing control
Feel like I'm losing control
Yeah, I just need someone to hold
Feel like I'm losing control
Over thinking my thoughts in the night
Hoping that I'll find the light
Even though there's nothing in sight
I'll keep on fighting
I'll keep on thriving
I'll keep on shining
I'll keep on trying
I'll keep on smiling
And keeping my head up
I'll keep on fighting
I'll keep on thriving
I'll keep on shining
I'll keep on trying
I'll keep on smiling
And keeping my head up
Yeah, got a couple a burdens that I wish I could let go
Wishing I could rest though
I've been living life to fast
Trynna get my life together
Started asking where the clues at?
Knocking on my door, I'ma answer with the "whose that"?
You say you got the keys?
Ima recommend you loose that
Say you're here to help me?
I'ma need a little more
I'm gonna need you to prove that
Trying to fix the puzzle, but too busy finding pieces
For the last couple weeks yeah,
I've been feeling sleepless
I've been feeling speechless
I've been trynna to find the different reasons
I've been going to church but I space out when he preaches
I'm trying to find the answers but I don't know where to start
Pray to God and ask him to take me out the dark
I feel like I'm driving
But I put the car in park cause I ain't going nowhere
All this weight on my chest yeah, I got to let it go
Man this getting old
I act like I'm strong and I'm bold but I just need someone to hold
I feel like I'm losing control
I ask God to give me a whole lot of strength and a whole lot of faith
That's what I'm needing at the end of the day
I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready to look for change
I ready to turn the page
I'm ready to share my music when I hop up on the stage
One thing I'll never do is put on a different face and pretend to be happy
Yeah
I will not put a smile on my face and pretend to be happy
I will not sit in a room and pretend to be laughing
I will not sit in a room and pretend to enjoy the time that I'm having
But I'll go inside of my room and commence with my rapping
Talking about the way that I feel
Talking about the process I went through in order to heal
Talking about the happiness they tried to steal
The things that I'm writing are the way that I feel
The things that I wrote about are very surreal
But I know one day I'll cheer and say I finally made it
But the fans won't bother and also relating
Or maybe I'm crazy?
Maybe, they don't care about the songs that I'm making?
This is the process it took me in order to make this
Overthinking for me, can tend to be dangerous
So I'm learning to stop that
Flipping my "no's" to "I'm on that"
Working so hard, I don't know where to stop at
Picking myself up on the days that I fall flat
Picking myself up on the days that I fall back
Checking myself on the days that I'm off track
Starting to slow more things down
And I'm starting to think
What is the point of all this if I'm not even happy with me?
I don't care about being much richer I just want to find the purpose and person in me
Forget all the money and fame that isn't for me
Kind of ironic, cause the career that I'm chasing and tryna succeed
Figuring out what are the right things for me
Asking myself what are the things I that I actually need in my life
Love and compassion what I genuinely need
I just need a moment to breathe
I Just need a moment to think
I just need a moment to let me be me
(That's Real)