St. Finnikin - Distrust (Fear) Lyrics

The bed I lay on isn't safe
My pupils wide, my body aches
And I can't sleep
So I draw a bath, three quarters full
Up to my umbilical
To find some peace
Existential what if's'
Catastrophic ruckus they're on repeat
Then appeared a mini waterfall
Tumbling if I recall on top of my feet
What if the fear that I've always felt
Stemmed from the sting of a leather belt
What if the trust that I never held
Is cause' I placed it in someone else
What if it doesn't work out
What if I get hurt when I'm out & about
These are thoughts that got me spinning around & around
They're getting louder but I don't hear a sound
Seems like people trying to get me
P.O.V my O.C.D is heavy
Something's got to change before the levee
Breaks and all my things get messy
What if I fear them cause' I don't trust me
I don't trust me
What if I fear it cause' I don't trust this
I need to trust this
What if the things that I can not see
Are somehow happening all for me
What if the trust that I now can feel
Can be the safety so I can heal
I'm beginning to trust myself
I'm beginning to trust myself
Now I'm beginning to trust myself
I'm beginning to trust myself
I'm beginning to trust myself