Yo, listen up! We're talkin' bout Dark Souls.
Hardest f*ckin' game in the world. (Baby)
Yo, I just finished this game
Far from tame it puts the rest to shame
It's the hardest motherf*cker that I ever defamed
Dark Souls shake me up when I remember its name
Hey bro, I heard you also beat Dark Souls cold
F*ck no, (What?) I couldn't even clear the tutorial
This shit is like a thousand sharks bitin' my nuts
It's the spiky dick of Satan all up in my guts
Yeah listen, I also had a horrible time
Turned my penis to slime and pooped my pants at a random time
Ended up convulsing on the floor having seizure after seizure
'Til my body couldn't take more
I've died 8000 times (Yeah!)
I've lost my friggin' mind (Come on!)
This game's impossible to beat within the span of one man's life (Hell yeah!)
Coincidentally, brain damaged mentally
Caved my f*ckin' skull in with my cat accidentally
Is he dead?
F*ck yeah, never stood a chance even
Wanted Cuddles locked in battle with the f*ckin' Capra Demon
Shit f*ck yeah my tits exploded from that boss
So did mine
Chest is drippin' with somethin I'm callin' titty sauce
Beat my dad up 'cause I was mad as f*ck
Lost your souls?
And now I lost my dad 'cause he's dead
But I was really mad so you can understand
Of course man! Had surgery for broken bones in my hand
From punching every single person that I met in the adrenal gland
Every try's the same
The hate flows through my veins
I've had enough, I'm giving up
Please jam this fork in my brain (Yo that hurts!)
My spirit's filled with dread
I envy the dead
I'd rather fight ten starving lions with meat stapled to my head
Got so mad from playing Dark Souls
So I stole unmarked gold
Melted down to f*cking lava that I drank so I could fart gold
Ended up having to eat charcoal
Giving me some very sharp pain in my butthole
F*cked a cow, 'cause I couldn't figure out how
It was possible to beat motherf*ckin' Ornstein and Smough
That's nothing, built a time machine
Walked inside
Traveled back in time
Took a dump inside Caesar's eye
Dark Souls f*cked me up so much that I died
I resurrected back to life and then I started to cry
Then I realized that I really don't know why
We keep letting this game f*ckin' antagonize
Then I ripped out my eyes
So as to compromise
I will never let Dark Souls traumatize
And control my life
Made me divorce my wife
Hey, the new DLC came out!
Oh dude f*ck nice!