This is an old town
Almost everything on main streets shut down
A lot of folks remember when It didn't used to be so bad
Every year there's less bad jokes here passed from dad to dad
Some people blame old Sam Wal
Others blame alcohol that sits atop Sam's shelves
But most just blame themselves
We never lock our doors and we settle our own scores
Some people might see us as dumb as rocks
But we like it here and we hate lawyers and we hate locks
I got a daughter that works at McDonalds and another at the Family Dollar
Though the discounts' rather nice
I wish for them a different life
When the light of truth illuminates the hurt
It's hard to get up and go to work
We never lock our doors and we settle our own scores
I don't have too many good friends left since they closed the factory dock
But the ones that stayed and me
We still hate lawyers and we hate locks