Stephen Lynch - Craig Lyrics

Everyone knows Jesus
The guy who healed the lame.
I am Jesus' brother
Craig, is my name.

Jesus is the prince of peace.
Jesus is the lamb.
Jesus is the son of god.
But Craig don't give a damn.

Because when Craig's in sight
We'll party all damn night
I don't turn water into wine, but into cold Coors light.
I'm not my brother, I know.
Don't walk on H2O
But I got hydroponic shit that me and Judas grow.

I'm f*cking Craig
I'm f*cking Craig
I'm f*cking Craig
Craig Christ

I hang out with lepers
Barabus and Solamae
Jesus' friends are called "opossums"
Those dudes are totally gay

Jesus performs miracles
From Galilee to Rome
But it would be a miracle
If he brought a f*cking lady home.

Because while Jesus is praying
F*cking Craig is laying
Every lady in the testament, you know what I'm saying
I won't die for your sin
Like my famous kin
But if you got a little sister then there's room at this inn.

I'm f*cking Craig
I'm f*cking Craig
F*cking Craig
Craig Christ

Jesus was our mothers fave
All her love to him she gave
But there's no sibling rivalry
When he's nailed to that tree!

And so the question for you
Is not "what would Jesus do?"
But where will you be when the Craig machine comes partying through
And if the lord will allow
You've got to ask yourself how
And who and why and when and where is my messiah now?

Its f*cking Craig!
Its f*cking Craig!
F*cking Craig
F*cking Craig
Craig Christ
Craig Christ
I'm F*cking Craig