I grew up with me father
He sailed the 7 seas
Told me the tales of pirates
When I sat upon his knee
All of my life I wanted
To follow in his stead
I dream of riches to behold
When tucked up in me bed
The first day I went out to sea
The sea was calm as glass
A wave then hit the bowsprit
And I fell upon my ass
I was lying in the bilges
Starting to feel a wreck
I turned upon my side
And I puked upon the deck
And they heaved the ho
And climbed the rig
And drank their tots of rum
Those brave strong men
That pirate gang
Of which I'll never be one
Of which I'll never be one
They hauled me up on to me feet
And slapped me round the head
They laughed and mocked and scorned me
And beat me nearly dead
I managed to find my footing
There was a change in the tide
Another wave hit the side of the boat
And I puked over the side
I spent the whole day green and sick
Felt like a hungover dog
The men said I'd feel better on land
When I'd had a tot of grog
When the ship finally docked into port
I clambered back to shore
I puked another seven times
And would go to sea no more
And they heaved the ho
And climbed the rig
And drank their tots of rum
Those brave strong men
That pirate gang
Of which I'll never be one
Of which I'll never be one
Of which I'll never be one