Tom Green - I'm An Idiot Lyrics

If I was chicken I''d cluckity cluck, but because I'm not chicken I don't give a f*ck!
I bend over take a shit on the kitchen floor, everybody starts clapping shouting for more.
So I go and take a piss on my grandma's teeth, everybody stares wide eyed in disbelief.

[Chorus:]
You're an idiot! That's right, I'm a f*ckin' idiot. I like to act out like a fool.
I'm an idiot. At school I like to act like an idiot, people like to laugh,
but most think I'm an idiot.

If I was a cheetah, I'd run real fast, but...I'm not a cheeta I'm a pain in the ass.
Like to drink whiskey like to smoke grass, I drove into a tree just to see shit crash.
Jumped on a stage to be like Mama Cass, I stuck a bottle rocket deep in my ass,
I lit the fuse that's what I call a "bum blast", I whack off in a Ferari so I can cum fast.

[Chorus]

I went to Batswana to buy some Marijuana, ghetto blaster blastin' Afrika Bambaataa,
I took the wrong bus and went to Ensanada, so I had a siesta and ate ate an enchelada.
I went to tahiti got busted for grafitti, they gave me forty lashes and now I'm bleedin'
They beat me so hard that my hair's receding, they said "Ching chang chong" but I didn't get the meanin'.

[Chorus]

[Chorus: continues, scratching, etc.]