I took her credit card
And bought a new TV
I borrowed her brand new car
And backed it into a tree
I know she hates it
When I argue with her mom
But sometimes I get ornery
When I watch cartoons til dawn
Even though I graduated
Last in my class
Even though I've got Shrek
Tattooed on my ass
Even though I'm stupid
And I drink every day
Even though I'm always late
And I eat off her plate
And I vape
Even though I smell bad
And I think the moon landing was a hoax
I know it's hard to believe but
She's in love with me
Even though I'm broke
I ate her cheesecake factory leftovers
But in my defense
I was hungry
Cuz I spent all day
Smokin weed with my friends
Usually I'm still in bed
When she's leaving for work
I'm tellin her she's the best
As I'm rifling through her purse
Even though I'm ugly
And I live on a boat
Even though legally
I'm not supposed to vote
But I do
Even though I'm stupid
And I drink every day
Even though I'm always late
And I eat off her plate
And I vape
Even though I smell bad
And I think the moon landing was a hoax
I know it's hard to believe but
She's in love with me
Even though I'm broke
People say she could do better
Cuz I am a habitual bed wetter
They just don't understand
The love she has for her man
She gags when I'm sitting with her
Cuz I smell like kitty litter
Still I pray
We'll have a joint bank account someday
Even though I'm stupid
And I drink every day
Even though I'm always late
And I eat off her plate
And I vape
Even though I smell bad
And I think the moon landing was a hoax
I know it's hard to believe but
She's in love with me
Even though I'm broke