The Thought - Hampden Lyrics

It was the turn of the century
Nothing's ever meant to be
Parents separating
'Cause they used up all their energy
Fading like it's Emory
Walking down my memory lane
Play accessory
To the enemy brain
I've known only the pain...
You don't know me the same
As my father, "holy father"
In the cold of the rain
I'll try decoding the strain
Time to get off the train
Been an honor, but the armor
Gets in way of the gains
Call me circumstance's dumpster baby
Never learned to dance, my lady
Daddy said he loved me
But he f*cked up how he raised me
It's no wonder that I'm crazy
And my actions seem so racy
To those happy on the daily
And trusting in their safety
But my action only hasty
If you think I'll make to 80
I'm the Black Sheep of the Mabies
'Cause their memory is hazy
They don't wanna face the truth
I'm pulling roots until they hate me
It was rape, not just abuse
I won't paint it so dainty
There ain't no sum you could pay me
To get away from the Mic
Like you stunned you can't degrade me
Evaluating my psych
Saw a lovely little baby
And you made it your enemy
Generations of the Mabies
With a similar destiny, yeah
Hampden, Hampden Terrace
Hampden, Hampden Terrace
(I Thought You Loved Me!)
Hampden, Hampden Terrace
Hampden, Hampden Terrace
(But you saw something to use, how you choose)
Hampden, Hampden Terrace
Hampden, Hampden Terrace
(I Thought You Loved Me!)
Hampden, Hampden Terrace
Hampden, Hampden Terrace
(But I never meant shit to you, to tell you the truth)
Divorce court had run its course
So we had to double doors
All the warring left me hoarse
But that chord just got ignored
Showing no remorse
In pursuit of their reward
Foreshadowing the force
So their freedoms get restored
Reality distorted
All we knew as up was on the floor
Twice a week deported
To the front lines of foreign shores
And we weren't supported
While they were licking at their sores
Suspicious ticking was reported
But they left it in the drawer...
Smell of liquor on the air
Fingers running through my hair
Something's off, but I can't place it
Lay there patient and aware
Don't avert my nervous stare
From the wall and to the stairs
Someone's there, and I can't face it
I'm just really f*cking scared
I don't care to know who's standing there
Santa Claus or Yogi Bear
All I hear is breathing
It's a demon, I could swear
And I know not of the reason
Why it had to be that evening
That he'd interrupt my dreaming
With an evil f*cking glare
But there's something off tonight!
You can feel it in the quiet
Barely six, I freeze in fright
A light meal for the Goliath
As his fingers take a bite
Of the slice that god provided
Focused on my upper thighs
A man whose spirit was divided
As a touch becomes a grip
I am lifted from my bed
Trembling, my upper lip
Not a single word is said
I can't read this situation
Who's this holding on my head?
Am I dreaming as I'm taken?
Why am I so full of dread?
Liquor heavy on his breath
Hands are steady as I'm straightened
Face-down on a bed
I know that smell... there's no mistaking
It's my Father's room
I'd know that shoe polish anywhere
Roy is probably coming too
Why am I so f*cking scared?
'Cause I'm dodging awful truths
No six year old prepared
For the pain that follows suit
When Father pulls your underwear
Don't know what the f*ck to do
But lay still and trust his care
It's my Dad! That much I knew
So there's no danger to despair
But I bear in mind
I hear his belt is coming off
Stuck in primal fear
As he's climbing right on top
Hot vodka on my ear
Boy, the train has left the station!
Sudden pressure to my rear
As I scream in pain, I'm fainting