TMB-08 - My Origin Lyrics

Okay, children, gather round again
Let me tell you my story of origin
How I became this mad villain
Full of self-hatred and destruction
How I always think I'm disgusting

Take a journey solely in within
To a place that I really never been
Cause I truly just wasn't ready then
It all started back when I was like Ten

Wrestling in a park with all my friends
Then I had no interest in women
Life had a meaning and a ring
Happiness wasn't a mask you're wearing

But what hit then next was depression
Life lost its spark and its meaning
That's the first time I ever grabbed a pen

I'm an open book but the author is dying
My mind is a mess, let's learn what's inside
Negative thoughts and I cannot defy em Screaming and yelling a riot
I'm an open book but the author is dying
My mind is a mess, let's learn what's inside
Negative thoughts and I cannot defy em
Screaming and yelling a riot

Do you know what it's like?
Living in a mind that his sly
Cannot trust your own thoughts cause they lie
So you internally cry and you wish that you die
Can't even vent to cuz nobody cares

Anyone you ever with shared has bailed
All left a trail of broken tales
Due to the things you've said and shared
Left you alone with a tucked in tail

All of this taught you really not to care
Other than the person you see in the mirror
But you lose who you are and you just disappear
And sadly you lack to care for yourself

By the time that you get back up and stare
Back to the mirror you realize that you're no longer there

I'm an open book but the author is dying
My mind is a mess, let's learn what's inside
Negative thoughts and I cannot defy em Screaming and yelling a riot
I'm an open book but the author is dying
My mind is a mess, let's learn what's inside
Negative thoughts and I cannot defy em
Screaming and yelling a riot

And I'm broken ripped of emotion
Reaching a point of extreme exhaustion
Hoping to finally rid of this omen
Hugïnn and Muninn guide me to open seas
And see the remnants of me
Started my journey
Of how did I be, come to be what I barely see?

As a kid I was not raised angry
But I met people that are so nasty
I was raised alright, I wasn't raised to fight
But I was raised on love and to be so kind

But it was then, before my pen
Became my own and only medicine
And I started to hate every single human
Being that walked this earth and their kin

And I wish I wasn't the way I am
I no longer care if you understand
Cuz firstly I need to fathom
Who I am, draw portraits of me in a grain of sand

And I wish that I wasn't the way I am
I no longer care if you understand
Cuz firstly I need to fathom
Who I am, draw portraits of me in a grain of sand

I'm an open book but the author is dying
My mind is a mess, let's learn what's inside
Negative thoughts and I cannot defy em Screaming and yelling a riot
I'm an open book but the author is dying
My mind is a mess, let's learn what's inside
Negative thoughts and I cannot defy em
Screaming and yelling a riot