TMB-08 - Peaceful Depression Lyrics

I'm putting on my defense
(Will I ever feel appreciated)
It's because I'm right on the edge
(Maybe in a different timeline)

And I'm not indestructible
(F*ck it for now)
I'm not indestructible
My heart is under repair

That's if you even would care
(I'm tired, man)
That I'm not indestructible
(Can't quit though)
I'm not indestructible

Oh, to be young and to be so free
No overthinking, no worries
Lately, my life has been

So disgusting and gory
And as it seems, honestly
I don't know how to follow my dreams
What steps should I be taking

All I do is just be me
Even that is not working
Cause the shit you need to do
Till you see a revenue

Makes you feel like you're a fool
A facade of failure too
All the masks you need to use
Hide the realest parts of you

Working jobs you really hate
Jobs so bullshit that degrades
You and even though you're great
You just start to feel you ain't

Which then f*cks your mental state
And you start to contemplate
About your life and future fate
All the choices that you made

All of that then frustrates
You and makes you feel depressed
Then you question so and so
Like how to cope with zero hope

With your suicidal thoughts
And you just feel so alone
That you resort to the rope
Hang yourself it don't feel right

But you're tired and all out of fight

I'm putting on my defense
Because I'm right on the edge
And I'm not indestructible

I'm not indestructible
My heart is under repair
It's a few we don't care
And I'm not indestructible

I'm not indestructible

Man internal I burn infernal
Lava flowing in me
And it burns all that

Doubt always come back like a circle
And I guess that is why I journal
Cause my thoughts always pop like a kerne
I can't control

And I ain't no colonel
I wonder if this feeling eternal
Love makes me so weirded out
Why is that I can't point out

Trauma push me not to shout
I don't know where the problem lies
I'm losing me I feel disguised
I am never satisfied

If I reach the highest highs
I'll throw myself up to the skies
I'll never feel as if I strived
Shit not even feel I tried

I am at my wits' end
All that is left is a whim
The light of hope in me is dim
I put all my shit in the gym

Just hoping that I will win
No matter how much I put in
I still feel as if I'm slacking
And then the wormhole begins

Overthinking, spiraling
Questioning who I'm within
Only focusing on sin
And as if someone pushed the pin

The grenade inside my brain
Overloaded, bombs exploding
Tick, tick, tick, tick
I put in my defense

Because I'm right on the edge
And I'm not indestructible
I'm not indestructible
My heart is under repair

As if you even care
And I'm not indestructible
I'm not indestructible

Lately I've been reminiscing

Thinking about all I've written
All the anger, hate and disses
All the slurs I've said and spit
And how misled and spiteful I've been

I don't feel like I changed the world
Nor have helped a single soul
Everything meant a selfish cause
I'm 23 ain't started yet

Full of hate and some regrets
And I will motherf*cking bet
Not a tear on me will shed
I've been depressed and called for help

A bullet to the head and I end up dead
F*ck it, here goes my last breath
I put in my defense
Because I'm right on the edge

And I'm not indestructible
I'm not indestructible
My heart is under repair
As if you even care

And I'm not indestructible
I'm not indestructible