Todd Snider - Agnostic Preacher's Lament Lyrics

OH HEAVENLY FATHER
IF YOU ARE UP THERE
AND I HOPE YOU ARE
I COME TO YOU THIS MORNING WITH A BIT OF A SITUATION
YOU SEE I MADE SOME PRETTY BOLD CLAIMS ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP,
AND NOW I HAVE WHAT I GUESS YOU COULD CALL A CONGREGATION

NOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU EXIST
AND IF YOU DON'T, THAT'S YOUR BUSINESS
STILL THOUGH, IF YOU COULD,
JUST HEAR ME OUT ON THIS
I PROMISED A LOT OF PEOPLE
I WOULD BE APPEALING TO YOU
ON THEIR BEHALF
AND NOW I AM NOT EVEN SURE WHAT TO SAY
ONE THING I KNOW FOR SURE,
IS THAT EVERYBODY HERE WANTS
THERE TO BE A HEAVEN
OR LIKE AN AFTER THING,
AND DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER HERE,
BUT EVERYBODY IS ALSO REALLY HOPING
FOR THE AFTER THING
TO BE BETTER THAN THIS THING
AND
IT'S NOT BECAUSE WE DON'T LOVE THIS THING,
WE COULD LIVE HERE FOREVER,
WHICH I'LL GET TO LATER,
BUT FIRST WE'D LIKE AN AFTER,
AND WE'D LIKE IT TO BE BETTER

ALSO, THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE
THAT NONE OF US CAN GET ALONG WITH
AND WE DON'T WANT THEM AT THE AFTER THING
SOMEONE EVEN SUGGESTED
THEY SHOULD HAVE AN AFTER THING THAT'S WORSE
LOL

MAINLY THOUGH
EVERYBODY JUST WANTS TO SUCCEED
AT EVERYTHING THEY TRY
LIVE FOREVER AND NEVER DIE
THAT'S IT IN A NUTSHELL REALLY
SUCCEED AT EVERYTHING WE TRY
LIVE FOREVER AND NEVER DIE
THAT'S THE THING EVERYONE AGREES ON
SUCCEED AT EVERYTHING THEY TRY
LIVE FOR EVER AND NEVER DIE
ON THAT WE ARE UNANIMOUS
SUCCEED AT EVERYTHING WE TRY
LIVE FOREVER AND NEVER DIE
AND IF THAT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK
HEAVEN WILL BE FINE
OH ALSO, I TOOK A TON A MONEY FROM THESE PEOPLE
AND THEY ARE STARTING TO ASK QUESTIONS
SO YOU KNOW
FORGIVE ME OR WHATEVER