Todd Snider - The War On Terror Lyrics

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

In the hallway of a high school
Anywhere, USA
There was a bully picking on a different kid
Seemed like every day
A pack of backslappin' buddies
Laughing backing him all the way
His screaming girlfriend making believing
Everything he'd say

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

And then one day some kid
He'd beat up a couple times before
Realized to even his surprise
That he probably could indeed take more
And with that he hatched the evil plan
To make that devil pay
He walked up to him in the middle of the gym
And he found the nerve to say
You're gonna hit somebody today
You're gonna hit me, too
In fact, you're gonna hit me every day
Because now I'm picking on you
And as crazy as that might sound right now
I ain't stopping until I'm through
It's too late to beg for mercy now there's nothing you can do

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Well that bully, just laughed and laughed, of course
And so did all of his friends
And he beat that kid unmercifully
For days and days on end
Only less and less impressively
To that girl and all of his friends
Who would eventually, secretly
Start hoping the kid might win

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Monday they rolled around in dirt
Tuesday they rolled in grass
Wednesday they actually both got hurt
Throwing each other through class
Thursday the melee was out by the dumpster
Friday at study hall

A day in and out, year after year
Without ever letting up at all

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?

Now you'll never hear him say this
Cause he thinks people still don't know
But winning the battle every day
Cost the bully the war a long time ago
And of all the scars he's got to show
For every blow that kid sneaks in
The worst one is knowing that tomorrow
He's gonna have to get up and fight that kid again