Tom Lehrer - Deep Doodoo Lyrics

When the classroom's packed, and the library's shut
And ev'ry year there's a budget cut
And the textbooks only keep on gettin' dumber
When standards seem to be on the skids
And it gets so even the kids have kids
And ev'ryone can hardly wait till summer
Then we're in deep doodoo
Deep, deep doodoo
What can folks like me and you do
When the doodoo
Gets so deep? And gettin' deeper

When we can't compete with the Japanese
Or the Portuguese, or the chimpanzees
And ev'rybody plays by diff'rent rules
It ain't a question of when or whether
Any fool can put two and two together
Unless they took new math at one of our schools
Yes, we're in deep doodoo
Deep, deep doodoo
God knows there's plenty to do
When the doodoo
Gets so deep and gettin' deeper

When some schools feel like combat sectors
With guns and gangs and metal detectors
(Remember how we felt guilty just "Playin' hooky"?)
When the school is broke, and homework's a joke
And the kids do booze or grass or coke
We've come a long way from choc'late milk and a cookie
And we're in deep doodoo
Deep, deep doodoo
And it's gonna take more than voodoo
'Cause the doodoo
Is so deep and gettin' deeper

People keep givin' me the same old pitch
"If you're so smart, why ain't you rich?"
I've heard that all my life, and I know it by heart
And to tell the truth, I wish I knew
But, America, I'm askin' you
If you're so rich, why ain't you smart?
Yes, we're in deep doodoo
Deep, deep doodoo
So ask yourself what can you do
When the doodoo
Gets so deep

It's time to look and time to leap
There's promises we've got to keep
And as you sow, so shall you reap
But whatever it is, it won't be cheap
'Cause the doo, doo is so deep