Oh as I came home on a monday night
Drunk as drunk can be
I saw a horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be
Well I called me wife and I said to her
Can you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse
Where my old horse should be
Well you're drunk you're drunk
you silly old fool
And now you cannot see
Well that's the lovely saddle that mother sent to me
Well as many a day I traveled
A hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a saddle
I sure never saw before
And as I come home on a Tuesday night
As drunk as drunk can be
I saw a coat upon the door
Where my old coat should be
So I called e wife and I says to her
Can you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat upon that door
Where my old coat should be
Well you're drunk you're drunk
You silly old fool
And now you cannot see
Well that's the lovely blanket
That me mother sent to me
Well as many a day I traveled
A hundred miles or more
But buttons on a blanket
Sure I never saw before
And as I come home on a Wednesday night
As drunk as drunk can be
I saw a pipe upon the chair
Where my old pipe should be
So I called me wife and I says to her
Can you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe upon the chair
Where my old pipe should be
Well you're drunk you're drunk
You silly old fool
And now you cannot see
That's the lovely tin whistle
That my mother sent to me
Well as many a day I traveled
A hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle
Sure I never saw before
And as I come home on a thursday night
As drunk as drunk can be
I saw some boots beneath the bed
Where my old boots should be
So I called me wife and I says to her
Can you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed
Where my old boots should be
Well you're drunk you're drunk
You silly old fool and now you cannot see
They're two lovely geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well as many the day I traveled
A hundred miles or more
But laces on geranium pots
I never saw before
And as I came home on a friday night
As drunk as drunk can be
I saw ahead with you in bed
Where my old head should be
So I called me wife and I says to her
Can you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head with you in bed
Where my old head should be
Well you're drunk you're drunk
You silly old fool
And now you cannot see
That's the baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well as many the day I traveled
A hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on I never saw before
LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa