We had to book a holiday, but we were sick o'Whitley bay
We fancied the Mediterranean.
All the vacancies had gone, that's all the vacancies but one
A Vacancy for which we didn't plan.
What could we do? we could hitch, a ride back home from moskvitch
We had to stay & face the cost & sunbathe in the russian frost.
[Chorus:]
One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW, & WE'LL BE RUSSIAN HOME
One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW
I'll be Russian, YOU'LL BE RUSSIAN, WE'LL ALL BE RUSSIAN HOME
The brochure said it's nice & warm, you need no Russian uniform
We had the flu & caught a Russian cough,
No fish n'chips or decent pubs, We called the hotel Wormwood Scrubs
We said we would complain to Gorbochof.
We couldn't find a disco anywhere, no mcdonalds or a wimpy in red square
We must have been potty to have gone to the soviet union.
[Chorus]
For a pint & Coronation Street...RUSSIAN HOME
A Bacon Sarny & as much as we can eat
RUSSIAN HOME... [guitar bit]