Trucka - Creepy Kringle Lyrics

Gather around children gather around, I got a Christmas story to tell you
Oh but this isn't like any other Christmas story you ever heard
Trucka had to put a can of ass whipping on old St. Nick, yea cause he was acting like a "Get outta here"

Gather around the tree so I could tell you what happened (What happened?)
How me and Santa got done scrapping
(How drastic), (how did you back smack him?)
Ain't really wanna hurt him, just teach him a lesson (What lesson?)
I swear the old man's been bench pressing
(Bench pressing.) So I had to check him (Check him)

Towards the night before Christmas got shorty at the house
Kinda felt someone staring with my hand up her blouse
Ended up at the bed we started off at the couch. As soon as I start stuffing, yep (Somebody is stalking)
I stopped making beats. I stopped sighting poetry. Had to take notes. I tucked her up in the sheets
Threw that red snuggly on cause I could see thru the screen! (Somebody is watching me)
Strapped on them black Timbos, with that stupid red hat looking like I'm Chris Kringle
I'll stomp him out at the back, that's what I thought
(But ya ain't gonna believe what I saw when I opened the door!)

(Gather around the tree so you could tell us what happened) (What happened?)
How me and Santa got done scrapping
(How drastic), (how did you back smack him?)
(He thinks he's gonna hurt him and teach him a lesson) (What lesson?)
(He doesn't know the old man's been bench pressing)
(Bench pressing) Santas gonna check him (Check him)

Rain deers on my roof, now how can this be? Is this mother f*cker really going down my chimney?
So I dashed back to the door, got snowballed to the floor, now a blur is all I see
(Betcha you didn't see that one coming!)
Can you believe before I get up on one knee, slipped back bust my knee on some skies
I just hope no one sees but I sure hope someone sees
Before I go numb from the breeze no more buzz from the Christmas trees I burned
Heats all I yearn when I get my hands on him Imma make him learn
You can't f*ck with a truck with a union this strong
You don't lock a mother f*cker outside and Horny, wrong!

(Gather around the tree so you could tell us what happened) (What happened?)
How me and Santa got done scrapping
(How drastic), (how did you back smack him?)
(He thinks he's gonna hurt him and teach him a lesson) (What lesson?)
(He doesn't know the old man's been bench pressing)
(Bench pressing) Santas gonna check him (Check him)

Hiding his plump belly behind the Christmas tree
Horton all the cookies I left for him by the stockings
But he's headed for the room like a sleep creep and I can't see anymore the shade is dropping
That's when I started popping mad jack shit cause my Jack Frost is frosting
On my sack, a red sock strapping my jock strap like a fitted cap no packing
What a bad dream from this nightmare I had to scheme my way into this frontier
Confront those fears all the Christmas years had to make sure I had cash for those Christmas cheers
Just like that, I found the strength to attack. Up the porch from the back like facts so
Down the chimney like HO HO HO. Imma firewood your ass like a Tiger Wood ex ho
History is gonna come to pass how I brought the hood to Saint Nicholas's ass hole
Imma bring pain when I ordain. Smack him with the Wee just to prove that I'm not playing
You cannot pass Go without paying That's not how I play monopoly I'm just saying
Two Santas fighting insane, ball fall off the tree scrapping
All you see is chest nuts tussling he gave him a hangover with eggnog
And just when he saw there was no stopping, he dashed to the chimney like his name was Poppins

Dasher now Dancer now Prancer and Vixsen on Comet and on Cupid
And on Donner and on Blitzen and I'm gone