Too Much of a Name
Some people are anxious for honor and fame
And they strive all their lifetime in gettting a name.
But too much of a name is a possible thing
And this you will say when you what I sing.
Now my father and mother were excellent folks,
But they both had a weakness for practical jokes.
So when I was born they were both of one mind.
They said I should have all the names they could find.
For there were Jonathan Joseph Jeremiah
Timothy Titus Obadiah
William Henry Walter Sim
Reuben Rufus Soloman Jim
Nathaniel Daniel Abraham
Roderick Frederick Peter Sam
Simon Timon Nicholas Pat
Christopher Dick Jehosephat.
I was sent to be christened before I could speak
So I might not object to this curious freak.
There were two other babies that morning as well
But for those two babies it wasn't so swell.
The reason was that I was first of the three
So the parson began operations on me.
And it took him so long for my titles to call
That these two other babies got no names at all!
When I came to be married the case was as bad.
The parson stared at me as if he was mad.
He started his task but he found very soon
That the job was too great to be finished by noon.
Said he, ''My dear sir, 'tis a very great shame
That your parents denied you a sensible name.
But since you are here without reason or rhyme,
You'll have to get married one name at a time.''