VCTMS - tourniquet. Lyrics

Tie this tourniquet
Pull it tight around my neck
Just f*cking clip the pressure
Cut the circulation
Till my body rejects

You know I still have that bullet
The one with your name carved through it
It's never left my head
Even it pains me to just admit it

I still think about you every day
It kills me to say
I still wish things differently
When suddenly everything changed

I'll never get used to the fact
That nothing ever seems to last
And what doesn't kill you
Just becomes trauma that we mask
Things we wanna keep buried
But seems we'll never get past

I keep letting it in and pouring it out
For the world to see all of my doubts
I don't trust myself
I only blame myself
Despite how much time has passed
It still hurts like hell

Don't say I didn't love you
'Cause it hurt like hell when I left you
Lost in limbo and filling the void
Everything is a killer in my mind

I let my guard down
I poured my heart out
And I put my faith into you

Calloused and reduced
To a lesser version of who I once was
Sick to death of biting my tongue
Blaming myself for all the things that you've done

Tie this tourniquet
Pull it tight around my neck
Just f*cking clip the pressure
Cut the circulation
Till my body rejects

I've got this hemorrhage in my head
Can it be fixed, or will I wind up dead?
I guess only time will tell
But I'd do anything to help me forget

What was left of us, honestly?
Ask yourself, did you ever really love me?

Was anything f*cking worth it?
Ask yourself

It'll never make sense
The people closest to you
Always hurt you in the end
It'll never make sense
The people closest to you
Wanna see you dead